Balancing Personal and Professional Life: A Black Executive's Guide

BEP Narrator: 00:00:02

A Black Executive Perspective now presents Need to Know

2

: 00:00:06

with the award winning hyphenated Dr.

3

: 00:00:08

Nsenga Burton.

4

: 00:00:09

Dr.

5

: 00:00:09

Burton.

6

: 00:00:10

What do we need to know?

7

: 00:00:13

Dr. Nsenga Burton: Good morning and

welcome to Need to Know with Dr.

8

: 00:00:15

Nsenga Burton.

9

: 00:00:16

It is me, Dr.

10

: 00:00:18

Nsenga, and I am here today to

talk to you about the necessity

11

: 00:00:24

of keeping personal lives safe.

12

: 00:00:27

Separate from professional lives, and

particularly when we talk about it

13

: 00:00:31

from a black executive perspective,

um, as you know, you know, being a

14

: 00:00:37

person of color, uh, in general, a

black person, specifically, we've

15

: 00:00:40

said this, you know, a billion times.

16

: 00:00:42

You have to work twice as

hard to get half as far.

17

: 00:00:45

You often are not given

the same grace as others.

18

: 00:00:49

And so when you make mistakes or have

challenges, they are not forgiven.

19

: 00:00:54

And they often result in your.

20

: 00:00:56

Demotion or termination or what have you,

while you have watched other people just

21

: 00:01:01

fail up and fail upward and fail upward

and fail upward, um, for whatever reasons,

22

: 00:01:06

um, some of it's, you know, culture,

some of it's racism, some of it's sexism,

23

: 00:01:11

some of it's all of the isms, uh, but for

whatever reasons, uh, and there are many.

24

: 00:01:17

Uh, when you are in a particular

place, as you're an executive, your

25

: 00:01:21

CEO, your president in the C suite,

if you will, when you are a black

26

: 00:01:26

person, a person of color, and you

haven't been there before, right?

27

: 00:01:32

Um, you're not new to it, but, you

know, we always say I'm not new to this.

28

: 00:01:35

I'm true to this.

29

: 00:01:36

But when you are in certain environments,

um, and climates that are very different

30

: 00:01:41

from where you typically move, um,

or work, then the stakes are higher.

31

: 00:01:46

And so we're seeing that, uh,

particularly in, I would say as a Gen

32

: 00:01:50

Xr, uh, you're seeing a lot of that

with people who have really risen, uh,

33

: 00:01:56

and achieved, I mean, amazing things

professionally in the workplace.

34

: 00:02:02

You know, they have transgressed

every type of financial economic,

35

: 00:02:06

I would even say racial boundary

based on their ability to accumulate

36

: 00:02:11

enormous wealth and access to resources

that are traditionally historically

37

: 00:02:16

hard to access when you come from a

historically disenfranchised population.

38

: 00:02:21

So when you do have the opportunity

to get to that place, the stakes are

39

: 00:02:25

higher in terms of how you conduct

yourself personally, um, as it relates

40

: 00:02:30

to your professional brand or image.

41

: 00:02:33

And so you may be able to, so despite

the fact that you are an amazing,

42

: 00:02:41

Entrepreneur or an amazing business

person or an amazing executive

43

: 00:02:45

or whatever term you want to use.

44

: 00:02:47

And you are functioning at the

highest level of the profession.

45

: 00:02:52

You know, you are an influencer.

46

: 00:02:54

You are a game changer.

47

: 00:02:56

You are a trailblazer.

48

: 00:02:57

You can create a life.

49

: 00:02:58

Opportunities for others.

50

: 00:03:00

You can move in a way that most people

are unable to move within your industry.

51

: 00:03:05

And even to those industries that

are tangential based on who you are

52

: 00:03:10

and what you have come and which

which who you are, who you have

53

: 00:03:14

become and what you have built.

54

: 00:03:15

But having said all of that.

55

: 00:03:17

When your personal life is not in

alignment with your professional rise,

56

: 00:03:23

that's when you see the downfall.

57

: 00:03:25

So, you know, a lot of people are

talking about, um, Sean Combs, uh, you

58

: 00:03:29

can look at Jeffrey Epstein, you can

look at Russell Simmons, you can look

59

: 00:03:32

at, um, You know, lots of people I'm

blanking on the woman, um, who's now

60

: 00:03:38

in jail, uh, who built this company

and, you know, it turned out she was a

61

: 00:03:42

fraudster and all the things, but, you

know, it cuts across class, race, gender,

62

: 00:03:47

all of the things, but what doesn't.

63

: 00:03:50

Is the, what doesn't, um, you can look

at a number of examples of real, of

64

: 00:03:58

real world examples where this has

happened, but you know, despite the

65

: 00:04:03

differences in those people, the one

thing that remains unchanged is if

66

: 00:04:08

your personal life is not together, i.

67

: 00:04:12

e.

68

: 00:04:14

In lockstep pretty much with normative

values, then the fall will be harder.

69

: 00:04:23

Right?

70

: 00:04:23

And so what you might think is acceptable

behavior because you're an entertainment,

71

: 00:04:29

if you will, entertainment, let me

just say, as someone who's worked in

72

: 00:04:32

entertainment and continues to work

in entertainment to some extent,

73

: 00:04:37

based on my areas of expertise and my

skill set and what I went to school

74

: 00:04:41

for entertainment can be a very.

75

: 00:04:45

Disgusting place.

76

: 00:04:47

And now when I think about

the things when I was younger.

77

: 00:04:50

Like, the only time I've ever

been offered, uh, drugs, illicit

78

: 00:04:53

drugs, e cocaine, or whatever,

is in entertainment spaces.

79

: 00:04:56

I mean, at work.

80

: 00:04:57

You don't even have to be at a party.

81

: 00:04:59

Um, but it is just a

very complicated place.

82

: 00:05:03

It is, um, you know, the boundaries

are blurred between what's appropriate

83

: 00:05:10

and what isn't in some cases.

84

: 00:05:12

In other cases, it's just downright.

85

: 00:05:14

Um, denigrating for women, I would

say, most women, if not all women,

86

: 00:05:19

and certainly people who are

trying to get into these places

87

: 00:05:24

and trying to rise in these places.

88

: 00:05:26

And then there's a culture of debauchery.

89

: 00:05:28

I mean, it's just point blank and this

is not with did not originate with Gen X,

90

: 00:05:33

you know, casting couch term goes all the

way back to the turn of the last century.

91

: 00:05:37

Um, and so these things have

been happening, um, and they

92

: 00:05:40

have been allowed to happen and

to go on, you know, for decades.

93

: 00:05:44

See Hugh Hefner.

94

: 00:05:45

All right, um You know, because

the business prevailed, right?

95

: 00:05:50

So if you are meeting a bottom line,

if you are celebrating a society

96

: 00:05:55

based on your business, acumen and

achievements, um, you know, in the

97

: 00:05:58

United States, we worship wealth.

98

: 00:06:00

You know, people don't like

to say that I worship God.

99

: 00:06:02

Yeah, a lot of us worship wealth and

don't know the difference, but that's

100

: 00:06:06

another, that's another podcast.

101

: 00:06:08

So we worship wealth and

things of that nature.

102

: 00:06:11

Um, and so people who participate

in these, um, you know,

103

: 00:06:14

some of these heinous acts.

104

: 00:06:16

You know, like, sex trafficking and

things of that nature, um, are often

105

: 00:06:20

elevated, you know, professionally,

but what always happens in: 2024

106

: 00:06:26

and I would say successive years,

you're going to be caught and you're

107

: 00:06:32

going to fall because culture has

changed and society has changed.

108

: 00:06:37

Right.

109

: 00:06:37

And so even though.

110

: 00:06:40

We don't want to go back to a time

where we had these rigid, uh, gender

111

: 00:06:43

norms and these rigid, um, uh, ideas

about what constitutes a family.

112

: 00:06:48

Um, you know, I'm not talking about

archaic things, um, that are just,

113

: 00:06:52

you know, Not really reflective

of the society in which we live.

114

: 00:06:55

Right.

115

: 00:06:56

And have always lived, you know, quite

frankly, but I'm talking about the

116

: 00:07:01

illegal activities or anything that can

be construed as illegal, um, based on

117

: 00:07:07

behaviors that are just not normative.

118

: 00:07:11

And when that bleeds into

your professional space.

119

: 00:07:15

That's how you fall.

120

: 00:07:16

So it's not, you know,

uh, people going after Mr.

121

: 00:07:20

Cosby because, um, he tried to buy

NBC people going after, uh, Mr.

122

: 00:07:26

Combs because he, um, tried to buy BET or

whatever is really because the behaviors

123

: 00:07:32

that they've been engaging in are, um,

not in keeping with what is not only,

124

: 00:07:39

uh, consider appropriate for someone

of their status, but also, you know, It

125

: 00:07:44

is not keeping up with the laws and how

the laws have changed and continue to

126

: 00:07:49

change, um, you know, throughout history,

throughout society, throughout time.

127

: 00:07:54

And so if you can't get a handle on

your personal behavior, then follow

128

: 00:07:59

the law, and that should help you.

129

: 00:08:02

Um, because the point of this podcast

is to say that when you are working

130

: 00:08:07

and operating at a higher level.

131

: 00:08:09

When you become a role model, when

you become the CEO of something, when

132

: 00:08:14

you become a billionaire or close to

a billionaire, the stakes are higher

133

: 00:08:19

and the expectations are greater in

terms of what your behavior will be.

134

: 00:08:23

And so you can't do what you did at 20.

135

: 00:08:25

For 30 years and think it's not going

to come back and haunt you and get you

136

: 00:08:31

you can't it laws change over time So

even if you got away with it at 20,

137

: 00:08:35

you're not getting away with it at 40

Definitely not at 50 certainly not at 60.

138

: 00:08:40

You're not getting away with it Um,

and so I just want to say on this

139

: 00:08:44

black executive podcast perspective

That um something we should always be

140

: 00:08:49

thinking about is how do we represent

ourselves in our personal lives?

141

: 00:08:53

You What are the things that we

do, um, for our community as we get

142

: 00:09:00

older, we are supposed to mature and

our behaviors are supposed to shift.

143

: 00:09:06

I'm not saying that you have

to be boring or you can't

144

: 00:09:08

have fun or you can't be wild.

145

: 00:09:10

All the things that people like to do

what I am saying is when you reach a

146

: 00:09:13

certain level, you can no longer do

the things that you did previously.

147

: 00:09:19

Even if they were legal at the time,

and they're now illegal, um, because

148

: 00:09:23

you should have outgrown it anyway.

149

: 00:09:26

All right.

150

: 00:09:26

So this, uh, arrested development

that we want to stay in, you know,

151

: 00:09:30

as we grow higher professionally, as

we achieve more professionally, as we

152

: 00:09:35

achieve more socially and economically,

this desire to remain where you were

153

: 00:09:40

when you were 18 years old or 20 years

old has to go when it does not go.

154

: 00:09:45

And when those things are not in

alignment, particularly with the

155

: 00:09:48

mission of your organization.

156

: 00:09:51

You will fall.

157

: 00:09:54

So without further ado, I just want to

say make sure that your actions Align

158

: 00:10:00

with where you are in the workplace if

you have no desire to move up if you are

159

: 00:10:05

happy You know, I keep seeing all these

videos which make me laugh I actually

160

: 00:10:08

send them around where people are saying

what they will and won't do and i'm being

161

: 00:10:12

demure today I'm not going to work today.

162

: 00:10:15

Here's a song about me not

wanting to go to work and all that

163

: 00:10:17

kind of stuff Hey, that's cool.

164

: 00:10:19

That's fun.

165

: 00:10:19

That's fun You know, it makes me laugh.

166

: 00:10:22

I think we all have some of

that in our heads sometimes.

167

: 00:10:24

Like, oh my gosh, do I not, why

do I have to go to work today?

168

: 00:10:26

I don't feel like it,

but you have to do it.

169

: 00:10:28

Right.

170

: 00:10:29

So I get that.

171

: 00:10:29

But if you have goals and aspirations,

if you want to rise to the top of

172

: 00:10:34

your field, the top of your company,

you have a company, you own your own

173

: 00:10:38

company and you want to do business

with major corporations or government

174

: 00:10:42

entities, uh, things of that nature.

175

: 00:10:45

Uh, nonprofits, same thing that you

have got to have your personal life

176

: 00:10:49

together and it has to align such

that your personal life does not

177

: 00:10:53

become a problem for your professional

life and vice versa, I would add.

178

: 00:10:57

So thank you for tuning in to a

black executive podcast perspective.

179

: 00:11:05

So thank you for tuning into a

black executive perspective podcast

180

: 00:11:09

today, and I'll see you next week.

181

: 00:11:16

BEP Narrator: A black

executive perspective.